3 Nephi 10:12

Recently, I was asked to speak to a group of women (AFG retreat) about the principle of "gathering" in the scriptures. I decided to speak about the Savior's analogy of a mother hen gathering her chicks in 3 Nephi 10. But, the important point of this post relates to verse 12 of 3 Nephi 10.

The afternoon of the actual day of the reunion/retreat, I had a horrible day getting out the door. Daniel flooded the toilet shortly before I was to go, and it leaked clear into the carpeted hallway before anyone noticed. . My kids were amazing and kept saying, "Mom, just go; we'll take care of it." But,needless to say, I was stressed and late and did NOT behave very Christ-like towards my kids. I certainly felt like such a “loser-mom” and pretty much unfit and unworthy to try and teach and testify about Christ’s love for us and his wonderful analogy of mothering (I'm sure I'm the only one who's ever felt that way!).

I needed to go. I wanted to go . . . but I felt so unsettled leaving after having [here comes my confession] yelled at the kids for something that in reality was an accident.

Before walking out the door, I sat all three kids down. Humbly, in tears, I said, "Kids, I've been asked to talk about mothering and blessing families today to a group of moms. But, I haven't behaved like a very good mom today, and I can't go teach them unless I ask your forgiveness and unless I have your blessing. You are truly the most important thing in the world to me."

My sweet, sweet children accepted my forgiveness... in fact, their responses were definitely along the lines of "Oh, mom. Of course we forgive you. It's totally okay. You're a wonderful mom; you're going to do a great job!"

Bless my sweet children!

So, I went out the door, feeling better, but still feeling undeserving and unworthy.

I humbly prayed that the Lord would bless me--would help me conquer my own feelings at that moment of inadequacy and let me teach and testify from a place of hope and love.

Well, it was as I was teaching that my own miracle and realization happened. I was teaching about the metaphor (that's for another post), and I got to vs. 12 of 3 Nephi 10, and suddenly the verse struck me in profound and personal way.

Here Moroni tells us about the unrighteous Nephites who were destroyed at the time of Christ's death because of their "wickedness and abominations" (3 nephi 9:12). And, well, I was feeling pretty much like one of the wicked. Then, Moroni goes on to describe that it was "the more righteous part” who were saved. I definitely was NOT feeling very righteous. And. . . then I realized in a flood of feelings of love from my Heavenly Father, exactly how Moroni defines the more righteous part—it was “they who received the prophets and stoned them not” and they who “had not shed the blood of the saints”—these were they who were spared.

This was SO comforting to me. Suddenly, it hit me—and I could bear testimony to a group of young moms, who so often feel tired, overwhelmed and inperfect—that that left A LOT of people open to “saving”—Being worthy of the blessings the Lord has in store for me does NOT mean I need to be perfect.

After all, Am I prophet stoner? Have I killed anyone? (Of course, NOT). So, then . . . maybe I’m not so bad— I-who-yelled-at-my-kids (which is wrong, and I needed to apologize and repent of my behavior), I am confident that I would have been in that group that was spared. I have read and re-read this verse and verse 13 SO many times, and truly it would seem that those who were "crushed to death" and "not overpowered"--which sometimes I feel is symbolically what my insecurities are doing to me--crushing me and overpowering me--they were those who committed grievous crimes.

Is this not analogous to the Lord's promises--that salvation is there for each and every person, regardless of their own faults, flaws, and sins if we will turn to the Lord.

As moms, we’re SO hard on ourselves sometimes—much harder than I believe the Lord would have us be. He stands ready to “spare” us, to “save” us. EVEN FOR THOSE who in fact DID stone the prophets and shed the blood of the saints, the Lord stands ready to receive them if they will repent.

So, on those days when you feel like a "loser mom"--just ask yourself, "Have I stoned the prophets?" (pretty sure you can check that one off on the "no" list! And "Have I shed the blood of a saint?" (hopefully, that's a "no, too!") . . And then remember .. you would have been part of the MORE RIGHTEOUS PART who were spared! Put a smile on your face, hug your kids, and know with CONFIDENCE that you will NOT be overpowered in your righteous desires . . . and let yourself feel GOOD that you are worthy of saving. You can know that, had you been a Nephite mom--even if you had just yelled at your kids right before the miracle of Christ's coming--the Lord knows your heart; he knows your desires; and I truly believe you would have been one of the ones to be saved!